Surpreme Comic Controversy: Palin v. Letterman v. A-Rod v. Roberts, 666 U.S. (2009)

It would nice if pols really understood comedy -or, er, the nature of the craft.

Letterman took to throwing around barbs at Sarah Palin's family, who will not got back to Alaska - and fight those pesky Ruskies. Now, picking on a 18-yr old unwed mother is a bit much. But who brought it on themselves?: Palin.

When you seek a grand stage, be prepare for the slips and jibes at yourself, family and anything you deem a cause, because that is what is going to happen. (Ask former Ms. California Carrie Prejean (above) about such attention via her less than stellar answer - granted, her free speech - but the consequences of such speech.)

For Dave's part (who I have not watched in God knows when), he backhanded an apology. He was not condoning the sexual deviance toward Palin's younger daughter. (He just didn't remember - or his writers got lazy - with her name. (The legal one.) But this is just fluffy way to retort on Palin's part.)

The biting lines from Yahoo! TV:

His Top Ten list featured "Highlights of Sarah Palin's Trip," and included: "Bought makeup at Bloomingdale's to update her 'slutty flight attendant' look."
But the diciest joke centered on the family attending a Yankees baseball game.
Letterman said "an awkward moment" occurred for Palin when, "during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by (Yankee third baseman) Alex Rodriguez."

I actually feel more sorry for A-Rod, since the miserably-selling tell-all book of Selena Roberts was just a ultra-feminist taking any jabs at the man she could from the get go. (And his two-faced persona. Like we don't know successful & spoiled people have such flaws. Really - that is all the book was.)

This off-the-beaten-path detour comes because that author, Ms. Roberts, has shown a pattern of behavior in advocating on behalf of victim - the Duke Lacrosse case - without actually having the facts in evidence. As it turned out, the case was not supportable, and the men accused, were innocent. (They were Reade Seligmann, Collin Finnerty, and David Evans.)

Quick judgments are a pandemic of our society - feed forcefully by gerrymandering journalists they are more worried about being scooped, and sent to the dustbin of journalism, where hatching, at best, second-rate tripe about third-rate fame and frivolity. So they slant - taking hard stances, even when dead wrong, or just lack the sensitivity to actually do the story right.

(A-Rod can be called a 'me' ballplayer. However, compared to many, many others, he is just vanilla - and was not worth the time Ms. Roberts spent in staking the claim to such a story. So, he did steroids? And then what? Did he beat up on others? How bad did he really treat his wife? Did his $252 million contract come without the owners being able to do their own background research, like you did, Ms. Roberts?)

Going back to Letterman, Palin jumped up like a mama bear to defend her cub. Too bad she did not teach her cub how to comport herself as the potential second family of the United States.

Palin on Today, Friday

The fact Letterman made a off-color joke is not a surprise. Reacting to it (as Palin did and has), with a lack of understanding who the really parties involved were: A-Rod and Bristol, is undoubtedly the bigger goof. Where she indeed VP, where were her sensitivities compel her to respond? And how much trouble could she have caused as a heartbeat away?

Like Selena Roberts found out, writing a tell-all about the richest baseball player does not guarantee success. In fact, it might be that quality of the analysis of baseball itself lacked. (It did.) True fans know that the game is not clean; or hasn't had its flaws and flawed players.

But both women can learn that you need your facts straight and presented in an entertaining manner, in order to succeed. And let stupid talk - slide, especially when posited by a two-bit talk show host that talks about your daughter, the older one, carelessly. (When that one is politically active and made a life-altering decision, and is being obviously watched for future goofs.)

The conservatives are just itching for a fight...about something, anything other than their policies.

Post Mortem: The 2008 Chicago Cubs

I took awhile before writing this final 2008 baseball blog. The Chicago Cubs had a wonderful regular season. Not since Ryne Sandberg was MVP and Gary Matthews was the 3-hole hitter have the Cubs piled up as many victories. So, it was a shame they bowed out early to a hot Dodgers team.

What probably hurt more was the way they lost 3 straight games. Game 1: Ryan Dempster suddenly can't find the dish. Gives up a granny and the Cubs offense disappeared under the Meadowlands with Jimmy Hoffa. Game 2: A comedy of infield errors led this Cub fan to want drink excessively, start a fight with a 65 year-old Dodger fan geezer and hope Game 3 in La-la would be fa la la la, la la la la terrific. Game 3: No life in this body as the Cubs showed up dead on arrival.

I am not a poor, pitiful Cubs fan.

Sure, I am poor enough that a new Democratic president will have to give me a tax break in order for me survive through the Second Great Depression. Pitiful would be dependent upon whether my income, car options, job prospects, lack of girlfriend or living arrangements deserves such pity. (I think they do.) Cubs fan: We have seen the last 100 years leave us behind in a dusty trail of Texas dust. But I am not a poor, pitiful Cubs fan.

As an original member of the National League, one steeped in an odd ball history of very good play for nearly 34 years (1876-1910), that went through 2nd division droughts like the one between 1946-1966, and have the tagline lovable losers attached to one's franchise woes, ineptitude and managerial stupidity, it almost seems too funny to get an attack from a Ranger fan.

I wrote a piece about Josh Hamilton this season shortly after the Home Run Derby display. I felt that Texas had bargained shop a guy that should have been where I was, in life - and that was likely given his addictions and proclivities before he 'got saved.' But he turned it around. And that impressed.

I don't harbor any delusions about the Cubs or the playoffs. As Billy Beane was quoted (or miquoted): "My shit doesn't work in the playoffs." The Cubs' shit didn't work in the playoffs because they left their shit in the shithouse of 100 seasons of disappointments. I can relate to these Cubs, with all their potential, their dreams and ambitions, only to come up on the very short side of a playoff ass kicking.

But I don't need curses or Bartmans to know that being so close to the brass ring is actually more a kick in the teeth that being a mediocre also-ran team for 3 decades plus that can't find pitching, but digs up the hitters a plenty, is.

No one is promised a shot at the playoffs.

If the wild card was nixed, the Cubs would have played the Los Angeles Angels in the World Series this year. (Using pre-1969 rules.) Of course, many many millions of dollars would have been forfeited under that design, and thus, not in the best interests of baseball. So we have a playoff. We reward team mediocrity by allowing barely .500 teams in the dance as division winners or wildcards undercast in the same role.

The 1998 Cubs benefited from this rule. So did the 2003 Florida Marlins who beat my Cubs and the Yankees to boot. (And they, the Marlins, still can't get fans, a stadium deal or whatever else a South Floridian needs to root for them. Let me live on South Beach and I'll build the goddamn stadium for them.)

But I can't feel pity or sorrow for teams that haven't mastered the new playoff paradigm. I've seen enough baseball to know that it is as much luck as it is skill in building a champion - or at least a playoff bound team. Oakland did it with money that wouldn't buy a 3rd rate action film in Hollywood. Texas had A-Rod, and nobody else. Spent foolishly on pitchers that couldn't get me out.

But that's the past.

We all need to go forward except for those fans still lucky enough to root for their 2008 teams.

Go Tampa Bay!!!

A Baseball Package: What I think would sell and predictions

I would love to put together a professional-looking total baseball package that would sell to fans and curious people alike. In it I would try to offer the following:
Bringin’ Gas and Dialin’ 9: The 5-tool total package

· A Hardcover Book – estimated 750-900 pages w/additional Appendices of Players and Teams records
· CD: PDF of Book with online links
· CD: Image Gallery of 100s of MLB players, Stadiums, Teams, Managers, Executives and Umpires
· CD: Database of Statistics with executable queries to find those statistics, comparisons and Player backgrounds
· CD: Graphs/Charts of the Financials, Stadium Layouts and Other useful stats
· DVD/CD: Audios of famous plays, players and radio broadcasts in history with footage from World Series and epic moments in Baseball history
Estimated Retail Cost: $110-150 with the following hang ups:
1. Book: $45 - $55 (did/doing)
2. Images: $15 (need permission)
3. Database: $25 (have backend- front end needed, permissions)
4. Charts: $5 (can do)
5. Audio: $10 (missing)
6. DVD: $20 - $30 (missing)


I think it would be a cool thing to have a baseball reference library package in one complete outfit. Of course, it will never happen. (I can collect the stuff, but sell it, never.)


I started working on a Fantasy/Roto League PDF file, but got bogged down with other things. Maybe next season.


Some off-the-cuff predictions/analysis:
The Chicago Cubs can win the NL Central if their pitching holds up. (Kerry Wood closing, I have to see that pan out...I am not holding my breath given his extensive injury history since 2003.) Milwaukee has youth and now, some experience in pressure filled games in the late season. I can see them winning the NL Central by 7 games as much as I can see the Cubs win by 3 games. Milwaukee has to pitch too - but they have their young up-and-comer starting ace Yovani Gallardo to nurse back to health if they are going to win anything.


Boston has some issues (Shilling done for the year, likely, and Beckett on the DL), but still will be there in the AL. With youngsters like Clay Buchholz, Jon Lester and Manny Delcarmen pitching, and Dustin Pedroia and Jacoby Ellsbury up and coming hitters, Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz don't have to be the only boppers to worry about. They can ride out; the Yankees haven't shown me they have improved that much on paper. A-Rod is their only regular season weapon.

Detroit has the powerhouse lineup (though Curtis Granderson is down for a while) but still has to pitch better than last year in the bullpen. Cleveland has plenty of talent on both sides (offense in Grady Sizemore, Victor Martinez and Travis Hafner & pitching C.C. Sabathia (left) and Fausto Carmona) and can win that division with any falter or hiccup by Detroit.
You got to figure Arizona and Colorado can't win again like last year. Arizona was outscored; so they will have to win with their pitching - maybe. They got it with Dan Haren and Brandon Webb, both 220+ inning eaters with 15-20 win potential. Colorado has the bats and some nice pieces, but I don't expect a run away by either. Los Angeles and San Diego can compete. San Francisco - your heart is gone.

Mets, Phillies and Braves. Mets have young talent with Reyes, Wright and now, Santana; and money is never much of problem, but old (and hurt) Moises Alou and Carlos Delgado are no longer premier options at power positions, 1B and LF. As a result, Endy Chavez, Angel Pagan and Ryan Church will get to play musical chairs in left & right field. I still figure this is a 90-win team, or Willie Randolph will hear, "you're fired," by a Donald Trump impersonator.

The Phillies have a similar dynamic trio in 1B Ryan Howard, 2B Chase Utley and 2007 NL MVP SS Jimmy Rollins. The problem begins once the Phillies get past ace-like Cole Hamels and starter-to-closer-back to starter Brett Myers in their starting rotation: the 3 guys left are either old, raw or beat up like a pick up truck. (Moyer, Kendrick and Eaton.)

But the Phillies will compete for this division.


Atlanta has to turn to two 20-year vets for competitive pitching in Glavine and Smoltz. I think the well is run dry. Hot-lanta can still get some miles out of Chipper and Texiera, but I don't think they will win anything.



Boston, Chicago Cubs, Los Angeles Angels (not mentioned),Cleveland, Detroit, Philadephia, New York and Arizona make the playoffs.