The Lie of the Tiger: Don't Quit Golf Because of a Lie

If I were advising Tiger Woods, I would tell him to stick to golfing and forget the wife. (Not the kids.)

Direct Conversation Style
"Mr. Woods. Look we all know (now) you had a cadre of classless concubines which is par for the course, of course, in infidelity. It took little imagination to round up the usual suspects in the 'I gotta have some companionship' while your wife and mother-in-law were getting on your very last nerve. The fact you did not get caught for several years while laying The Wood to these lucky ladies for an evening is to your credit, and shame.

Now, though, it is time to look forward instead of at the behinds you were waxing along the way to being the best golfer in the world. The world is not going to stop. Money can be remade. And it does zero good to stay in a loveless marriage.

How can I say loveless? Mr. Woods you must have married for the convenience of having a wife and kids. People in your circle - friends, you will say, but mostly parasitic playas - deemed it appropriate to have said wife. Need quality and breeding though, no bimbos need apply. So you did it - with zero committment to the plan. I can almost hear you say, after the honeymoon, "Now what?"

Aside from the game of golf, what have you ever excel at? You are very intelligent no doubt, but how does one get good at something that takes real work, communication, time, committment to succeed at? (Marriage not golf.)

Elin is now laying the wood to your life. Making demands. Give the "I'll leave, or else" order. Forget that. You have to see things for what they are. It's been a sham and a shameful expression of love on your part, but it will be a holy nightmare to stay with her now. You are not going to repair something that did not work all that well to begin with.

You got two young kids, very young, so young they won't know until they internet search these posts years from now. By then, you can be happier, married again (or not) and Elin can share the burden while sucking on your wallet until both kids are grown.

You can repair your image with tell-all books (and book deals) and Oprah appearances, etc. You can be the best playa on and off the course. That's up to you.

Or, you can be a miserable, imprisoned fool that will be reminded of your sins (transgressions) until St. Peter comes knocking.

I think you can still be a great man. It won't be with Elin around. But people forgive that don't have to know anything or do anything for you.

Think about it. Don't throw your club away for keeping a bent-out-of-shape wife. She is not worth the tournament of a lifetime."

Short Story: On the Fly, Run the Table (Part 1 of 3)

Waking up with the smell of stale warm beer hanging over him, Terrance rolled to one side of the motel bed and vomited into the ash-filled plastic garbage can. He could hear the roar of the semis trucking by at 75 MPH, like the old railroad line that ran by his Greenboro, Alabama home.

His family was "air poor" which was a might worse of that "dirt poor." As his Uncle Sal said to him at age six: "Dirt poor means you got something to hold on to. Air poor means you swap it out, like one of those time shares in Florida. We's do plenty of swappin' out 'round here."
That little dusty town was a model of the Reformation South: small, black majority, white controlled. It just figured Terrance wanted to escape it.

He was twenty-three. All ready divorced from the high school sweetheart made under the bleachers of the football game. She seemed to care greatly until Terrance decided to move north to Cincinnati.

"I am not leavin' my family. They have my best interests at heart. You don't." Wendy Nixon was a southern belle without any inner beauty. After giving the owner his 2-week notice at the distribution plant, with a job awaiting in Cincy, he found Wendy fucking his best man, Ronny Mason, on the kitchen counter. She could have avoided the surprise.

Terrance barely reacted - just went to the bedroom and packed his clothes - knowing it was all over except for the divorce papers. He left for Cincy after a week in the hotel, taking his last paycheck and belongings with him in the dusty '93 Toyota Camry.

Wendy never called, or worried. But then again her family owned the hardware store and was the law in those parts. Wendy had married him because he played football well and worked hard. Talent and work ethic were hard pressed to find in Greenboro. "You's the best catch a girl could have," Wendy had said only 3 years prior. Funny how time changes that.
----

Terrance third month in Cincy had seen him fall down a bit. He worked hard at the top-end distribution center, going through the supervisor training and making it to the overnight lead supervisor. But on weekends he got drunk and spent hours at the local strip club, half-mile from work and one mile from the seedy hotel.

Samantha (Vanity) liked him. She'd only take enough money not to cause her wannabe pimp owner not to get suspicious. Terrance seem unfazed by her seductive gyrations seeming to stare right through her, upon their first encounter. That bothered her, since she was never ignored by any customer she ever met. After watching him drink a half-dozen beers and lethargically hand over a dozen $1 bills to the various strippers, she came over.

"So what's you doing?" Samantha asked.

"Thinking about things." Terrance said.

"Bad things?" Samantha asked.

"Is there any other type?" he replied.

"I think so. So can I help?" she drew closer, figuring him for any easy $100 for 4 songs.

"I'm sure you could oblige. I shouldn't be here. It's just convenient." Terrance took a sip, paused for a moment, looked at his watch and stood up to leave.

"You in a hurry? Got a wife?" she cocked her head sideways as she stared up at him. He towered over her 5 foot frame, even in 4 inch heels.

"No and no. Just had my fill. But thanks for the conversation." He handed her $40 --and left out the door.
----
In the ensuing month, and weekly visit to the joint that nabbed plenty of hourly workers and supervisors, Terrance warmed to Samantha a bit. After the fifth visit, she had made it her priority to get Terrance alone in the "back stage" area. She initiated more than ever.
----
It resulted in more confusion for both. More mysteries to fight against. Whys and Hows and What Next came breezily through their minds.
---

Terrance wasn't surprised she had left him in the motel alone -- he been pretty terrible after sex, crying -- but he just didn't belief she had time to pick flowers up from somewhere nearby. On the night stand stood a mixture of roses, tiger lilies and lilacs and a note: "Wondrous indeed is the night we had. See you later Terry. Love Sammy."

Marriage: A 5-year deal, then Free Agency

This may be a controversial solution to what has become a rather interesting institution: Marriage. I firmly believe we would be best suited to sign a 5 year contract with stipulations both ways which could allow people to void a marriage after that time. Now, this smacks against all things religious and the sanctity of the forever bond. But let's face it: 50% of these life-long partnerships will wind up in a divorce court either in a backwater somewhere or maybe in front of some TV judge that has more quips than questions.
For those that are married, it very well is a workable, highly energetic, fruitful relationship. That it works so well is a testament to your work and resolve. But since the 1970's most of these unions are lost. So, why not have a stipulated time frame to work in? Much like professional sports - namely baseball - where a contract is guaranteed for a determined length. After that, the parties can reup for much longer (or shorter...) duration. Each would get certain things ( a prenump) in the initial bonding of the two souls. Kids, Career, Living arrangements, Income split and material goods would be bartered for. I think this would be good for Hollywood types, YUPPIES, DINKS (Dual Income No Kids) and any other bonding of "equals."

I confess that I have not been married; and will I likely not do that "I do." Not because I enjoy some lascivious lifestyle, but because of things are fairly cemented in my heart, and I am not given to see it going very far askew from that slope.

A marriage is supposed to be based on tremendous love of another. But under that I see four posts, which are:

1. Money. It is a fairly rare couple that does not discuss finances - as it pertains to each other and the relationship. Lack of it certainly stresses the fabric of a relationship, whether due to career advancement, unfortunate circumstances (Layoff, medical or natural forces) or bad deals made out of lack of knowledge. Money was a distant reason why my parents were unable to succeed.


2. Time. Couples have to spend time together (and apart) for well being. Each person has their comfort level as to that amount. Some lose each other if they are never around, passing in the night due to work or otherwise preoccupied. Without a rational amount of time together, I've seen some friends really lose their "loves."


3. Communication. Interrelated to Time, but seperate, is the art of communication. It is an art form; that I've never seemed to have master with a female. Whether You believe in John Gray's book or not, the ability to share rational thoughts and our feelings is the likely the most important of these poles.
4. Sex. Similar to Time, the needs (or wants) of the two people vary. People are not always compatible in bed. Generally the greater the difference in amount, variety and what have you, the worse the relationship is further along. From what I've read, each partner feels manipulated or beholden to the other's sexual desires.

I don't think we are necessarily meant to marry for life. Just the probability of meeting the best partner for us has to be fairly slim. Adaptability and fidelity to the relationship is also a very mutable situation. But the pillars to achieving a love in marriage I feel start with the above.
5 years is much longer than most can commit to a career - which is usually the 2nd most important deal any of us dive into nowadays. And how interrelated our jobs become to our marriage, it is no great wonder that marriages fail. Careers are no longer stable as baby boomers found out and Generation X and Y and whatever the new generation is called are finding and adapting too.
Women are getting married much later. (Or binomially; either 18-21 or over 31-35, due to career first orientation.) Men are no longer supreme bread winners; the time element is first to go south in a relationship. With a fast-paced world, people are even wasting time on computer relationships instead of REAL world meetings. So it is complex.

You no longer meet your wife in school alone; or a sock hop; or shortly before a war- with life or death in the balance. Even with more opportunities to meet whomever, like minded or not, I don't see it getting better. Add to that the same sex couplings and the "death do us part" is quite overblown.
Well, at least I know I'm a FREE AGENT.