Scream Queens: It's all in the horror family

As we approach Halloween, AMC is running a ten-day marathon of horror films. All classics, filled with names you know, and some you don’t. (They need a Robert Osborne from TCM to do their movies.)

Janet Leigh (1927-2004) as Marion Crane in Psycho made showering for a young, pretty innocent girl/woman seem like a permanent hassle. I am by no means an expert on this movie, but it is very loosely based on the true-life story of Wisconsin psychopath Ed Gein, who murdered and mutilated women and pranced around at night, draped in their skin.

Nice guy – I suspect getting in touch with their skin was just “a phase.” (And it seems the weirdest ones are from Wisconsin–Illinois. Jeffrey Dahmer and Richard Speck come to mind. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre of Tobe Hooper is also "loosely based" , even more gruesomely, on this weirdo. Silence of the Lambs makes Hollywood profit off Gein's absolute sickness.)

Janet Leigh was more than a pretty, well-endowed starlet. She was in The Manchurian Candidate, Touch of Evil, Bye Bye Birdie, Holiday Affair and Angels in the Outfield. (Angels saw her as a reporter on a team that suddenly get the help it needs…Joe DiMaggio, Marilyn Monroe’s one oddly befitting love, appear in this vehicle. I think Janet is a better dame.)

Leigh had pretty decent range – and a comic side that became lost after her Psycho role.

Her offspring, Jamie Lee Curtis, made her big move into the business with her role in Halloween. This movie rocks, even today. The building to impending doom and the maniacal, steroid-enhanced strength of a unstoppable stalker are classic horror traits. (John Carpenter had to make the eerie music because he couldn’t afford a real orchestral arrangement – it worked out, since that is really the most memorable thing.)

Around the same time, Jamie and Janet appeared in The Fog (1980), with Hal Holbrook getting the “last-killed” moniker in the flick. This film drags, in my opinion, and neither one is really that good in it. (Not to sound perverted, but Janet still had a nice pair in 1980, at 52. Adrienne Barbeau also played in this film. Can you say “casting couch”? Or a director with a boob fetish? John Carpenter? No way? Yes, way.) Mrs. Jamie Lee Curtis (Guest) has gone onto a successful career in the movies, with A Fish Called Wanda and a Freaky Lindsay Lohan, and kids' books, Is There Really a Human Race?

Twenty years later, Halloween H20 came out with both Leigh and Curtis appearing once again together. I don’t remember much of this film; but I the critics actually enjoyed it much better than the other Halloween sequels.

Janet Leigh was sought after by plenty of men (and a woman.)

Howard Hughes wanted to bed her – or at least exploit her like some of his other glamour girls (Jane Russel in The Outlaw) while running RKO pictures. (See: Hughes' Jet Pilot with John Wayne below.) Hughes would have bored her with Ice Station Zebra – his bedtime fav – and no matter how much you’re worth, a woman has her limits to eccentricity.

Kirk Douglas, who starred with her in The Vikings, fantasized about her breasts after his stroke. (And AMC this morning followed up Halloween with The Fury, with Kurt Douglas, Amy Irving and Andrew Stevens. Coincidence? Or not?)

Tony Curtis married her only to screw that up. After a decade of decadence, running around with the Rat Pack, Curtis and Leigh were heading in different directions - personally and career wise. He was into some dope, among other things. So Hubby #3 was gone after a decade. Screen Harlet Marlene Deitrich evidently liked to go both ways – and made it known to Janet & Tony. Tony of course was game; Janet not so much.

Leigh would married 4 times; the last time lasting over 40 years to Robert Brandt, a stockbroker. Her first marital rodeo took place at 14, about the time Pearl Harbor, and was annulled after a day. Her second was to a musician that lasted only a short while longer. Then along came Tony Curtis when she was a rising star in the early 1950’s, and he was still, just another face in Hollywood's den of dames and don juans. Their marriage is compared to Cruise and Kidman in it's dynamics. And was similiarly not destined to last.

Her final hubby married her only hours after the divorce ink was dry to Tony. After that, Leigh was more interested in societal matters, once asked to be an ambassador to Finland during Johnson's administration.

Her contribution to the horror genre is remarkable given it was done cheaply (15,000 pounds), at a time when some actresses could get upwards of $500,000 per movie. She assisted Hitchcock to legendary status with a blood curling scream, a pert body and an understated, short role. And produced the next generation of horror films, via her daughter, Jamie Lee.

Janet Leigh Interview done shortly before her death in 2004. (And several links and photos were compiled from various sources in the Enclosure Links to this post...)

Scream On!!!

Love Songs: If you Love Somebody Set Them Free & other Somebodies

I really "love" this song...

Released in the 1985, near the time Sting broke up with The Police permanently, Dream of the Blue Turtles was his initial effort solo. If you love somebody (set them free) was his big pop hit from it. (Fortress Around Your Heart is another song from it.) With famous musicians Kenny Kirkland and Brandford Marsalis (who was musical director for the Tonight Show with Jay Leno) playing alongside him on the Nothing Like The Sun tour(Shakespeare's Sonnet), I got to see "If you love somebody", and many, many others performed in a top-notch manner.

Here are the lyrics to "If you Love Somebody":

If you need somebody,
call my name
If you want someone,
you can do the same
If you want to keep something precious
You got to lock it up and throw away the key
If you want to hold onto your possession
Don't even think about me

If you love somebody, set them free

If it's a mirror you want,
just look into my eyes
Or a whipping boy,
someone to despise
Or a prisoner in the dark
Tied up in chains you just can't see
Or a beast in a gilded cage
That's all some people ever want to be

If you love somebody, set them free

You can't control an independent heart
Can't tear the one you love apart
Forever conditioned to believe that we can't live
We can't live here and be happy with less
So many riches, so many souls
Everything we see we want to possess

If you need somebody,
call my name
If you want someone,
you can do the same
If you want to keep something precious
You got to lock it up and throw away the key
If you want to hold onto your possession
Don't even think about me

If you love somebody, set them free





Queen's Somebody to Love



Queen's Lyrics:
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what youre doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just cant get no relief,Lord!

Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love? (he works hard)
Everyday - I try and I try and I try -But everybody wants to put me down
They say Im goin crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common senseI got nobody left to believe

Yeah - yeah yeah yeah
Oh lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
Im ok, Im alright
Aint gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday Im gonna be free, lord!

Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

And lastly, 'Somebody' by Depeche Mode:


Lyrics too:
I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general

Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it

KEEP IT FRESH TO DEATH!!!!

The baseball book: Here's a whole bunch of it - draft form

For those who actually like reading online PDFs, here's a link to Bringin' Gas and Dialin' 9: 100 Years of Professional Baseball Development (1908-2007). It is not necessarily the lastest and greatest, but it includes all the chapters, appendices, structure and most of all, the research I did. For those who find baseball a bore, I understand. I don't expect you to digest a subject that upsets your stomach. (But if you look close, I included plenty of pictures, charts, graphs, tables that assist or liven the project up.)

There is plenty more I can do (as the linked post relates), but I think you can follow the structure of the book and understand what I was trying to accomplish.

Since more people stop by this site, I felt this might be a good way to get out the word. (In case I find a crackhead editor/publisher that wants it.)

I appreciate any feedback, complaints, or suggestions. In fact, unlike many authors, the more pointed the criticism or complaint, the more likely I am to reflect on it, possibly revised or investigate it.

(To get ahead of a complaint: the pictures are from various websites listed either in the Preface or the Bibliography. My placing of a copyright on the work is not legit:This is a draft. This is a forum to vet any concerns about the analysis/structure or mistakes....not to find a way to ruin a project before it gets published. Lawyers need not apply to this job.)

Realize this:
1) I used the local library for the research. This means, whatever the lending library had or I could access online, I used best I could.
2) No interviews or trips to Cooperstown (MLB Hall of Fame) or Kansas City (Negro League HOF). So, I don't get the words that I would have respectfully inserted from the original source. I could never leave "my post" because I was not properly relieved of my duties...(Mil people will get that.)
3) I did the bookstore reading too. However, once I lost my laptop's usage, hand writing notes was considered inefficient. Plus I could remember the gist of 80% of what I read.
4) Conflicting sources. As always, the stories told are not always the same, author to author. Many, many conflicts arise, even in 2007, over what exactly happened, whose fault was it or why was something done. Baseball has this problem in spades....The most vocal people usually win.

Enjoy Bringin'!!!!!

I do, Robot: Marriage, Sex and the slippery slope

I read Wonderland or Not's post on Robot Marriage and looked at a MSNBC and LiveScience article on it. To me it is an inevitability that comes with the course of our society. The slippery slope has long been greased and readily available by the ever failing partnerships many have.

I know this comment will strike a discordant note, but feminism and the infantilization of men has paved a way for poor relationships. After WWII, the rate of divorce climbed to stratospheric heights, and between bad marriages, selfishness and the broken homes, well, we might as well GO ROBOT.






The simple reasons this could work:

1. People that are unsuccessful in human relationships for a wide variety of reasons (appearance, shyness, poor interactions, poor lovers or instability.)


2. People that utilize technology in a vast array of ways to fulfill their needs (and sex is a need for many that I've stumbled upon in life.)


3. An alternative to socially unacceptable behavior ( you name them in your head...prostitution seems to be a bugaboo amongst people of faith.)


4. Robots could provide stimulation and gratification that simply isn't available from a person. (And the criteria most would have could be fulfilled via a robot.)

The rest of this is a modified comment of mine from Wonderlandornot.
When it comes down to it, we all have desires to act or choose not to act on. If there is a machine (or blow up) that provides a release and somehow satiates our desires, then it is a worthy enough path.
Artificial means are becoming the status quo in America/World society. Drugs to balance us, cosmetic operations to mold us and machines to do whatever we need them TO DO. Why would sex & companionship be ANY different?
Use Pills for sexual dysfunction.
Use Pills to "make us happy."
Use Computers to do our ‘mundane’ calculations. (Can any of you do a multi-linear regression or Laplace transform without it –in 60 seconds?)
Use all these PDAs to communicate, like, "how you your so not into him/her." How much of your current 'social interaction' now is on a keyboard or a video link? And that’s pretty impersonal, don’t you think?

DNA experiments above ALL our heads. (Clone me up, Scotty!)
We started this slippery slope with test tube babies, genetic mapping and other enhancements to our physical beings. This is just another avenue of exploration...one we've thought about for many, many years, going back to Greek Antiquity.

No, this isn’t what we should be doing - but as time marches on, these things are an inevitability… 20+ years ago, if you piddled with a computer TOO much, you were a geek, loner and a loser. Now all the “cool” people are computer savvy. Plenty of ignorant people (people you would never talk to normally) have plenty of technology in their hands that they avoided like a plague not too many years prior.

Hence, when a functional apparatus for partnership comes out, and people mock, deride or sneer at its usage (and permanent linkage to it), we will soon enough find that this ROBOT will become accepted as people eventually acknowledge it useful and wondrous nature. (And since the first users will be very comfortable with tech, it isn’t like they would be cheating on humanity that much…)

Yet, every prior generation loses something to tech.

I’ve met quite a few people that feel sex is a mundane task too. They’re usually married. So why not have it completed by something, a robot, that won’t piss you off if you suck literally and figuratively at it?

And no, I haven’t “blown up any date”......yet.

The Five B's of my female Robot:
Brains. This will be the easiest initially to satisfy. Obviously programming them with a compedium of knowledge is a cake walk. But the ability to facimilate a subtle and engaging personality will be the real trick.
Bible. Not in the traditional sense. But the do good unto others. Goes to the Isaac Asimov three laws of Robots. However, if you Robot partner "felt" abused, then shouldn't be able to abandon you?
Body. Both sexes want the penultimate in this area. Good side: they will always be in the same beautiful shape. Bad side: you won't.
Beauty. Inner beauty will be the hard part. You don't want a bore - else you'd go back to humans. Outer beauty: damn this could be made even better if the robot could morph into a variety of aesthetically-pleasing faces and skin tones.
Brawn. What's a robot if it can't do a whole lot more than you can? Like fix a futuristic car, or redo your house in a couple of weeks. These little tasks would be a snap for my robot honey.

I DO ROBOT.

Happy HalloThankMas: Let the Holidays Suck IN!

You gotta hand it to the Retail Section of the Captains of Industry, they know us all too well. Since people started abandoning Christmas and Thanksgiving, Halloween has become the commercial jackpot to flock to by these big-box, chain store and mall anchors we-shop-till-we drop at.

The Christmas season begins November 1st on WLIT in Chicago as they play Christmas music 24-7 for two months solid. I get to hear Amy Grant's "It's the Most Wonderful Time of THE YEEEAAAARRRR!!!!!!" until my ears bleed, if I let my mom pick the station on the RAD.

The Holidays have never been my cup of Joe. My mother no longer has the Holiday Cheer and I don't get much uplift from the usual fair of people I meet. I get more out of watching "Charlie Brown's Christmas" , Rudolph's "I wanta be a dentist" cartoon and "Jack Frost" trying to score a honey, on the money, sonny than any real closeness to goodwill to my fellow undercover brotha.

I'd like it to be different. I really would.

Long time ago, Halloween was just excellent. In the late 1970's and early 1980's, I scored candy better than a cocaine user looking for a kilo of Columbia dancing dust. We'd go out all night till 11 PM, make two-three trips, then eat and go to a haunted house at midnight. All the fake blood you could see. Coffins and just totally weird music and everything blurred by smoke. (Not pot smoke.) Everything about the experience seemed fast.

I also remember in my first years of school I was picked as the kid to get the crap scared out of by a teacher. I'd be sent to get something in a empty room --all dark like -- then bam! this teacher in a gorilla suit jump out and scare the piss literally out of me. I'd run fast as hell back to class, tell everyone a gorilla was loose and the class went out looking for him/her. It was a blast.

I know those days of fun are fin. Nothing is going to happen to me this holiday season that will stick in my mind. Not going to find love. Or a lottery jackpot. Or resolve some long-standing, but short-thrifted issue that could broaden my horizons. Sorry, that isn't what the holidays are for.

I'll "do the mall", window shopping items for myself and others, hoping a movie will be worth watching, probably go to Chili's, TGIF or some other eatery on a gift card obtained doing deliveries. It will get tiresome after a day. I'll think about church...Only think though. And soon enough the entire thing will be over. And another year will park in the NEW EMPLOYEE parking lot of our minds.

The Twelve Days of Demented Christmas -circa late 2005

1. Holding a séance to bring back Elvis Presley from the afterlife just to ask him, "Just what kind of psychedelic drugs were you take while filming 'Roustabout'? Because that movie sucked…Mr. Presley."

2. Crank calling Bill Gates (AKA Santa Claus or The Incredible Software Hulk) to say, "Hey where's my XBOX 360, punk? And why are the games $20 more… for the same fucking game!!!?"

3. Scheduling an appointment with Dr. Kevorkian for a Colostomy. During the procedure, he offers you Twizzlers, hands you Juju petals and says quite chipper, "Every time a bell rings, an asshole gets cleaned out. Time to Check out to Kott's Berry Farm, cocksucker!!!"

4. Holding a G13 Summit Meeting with such heavyweights as the Bush sisters, the Gore daughters, Christina Aguliera, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Nichole Richie. You discuss arms proliferation while playing a mean game of Strip TWISTER. Al Gore interrupts with an Inconvienent Truth: you ain't man enough to handle all these gorgeous, if emotionally fragile, women.

5. You and a best friend go dumpster diving in the swank neighborhoods of Aspen, Colorado looking for the best possible morsel tossed out by these fly-by-night YUPPIES. You encounter Kobe Bryant…looking for his "A" game.

6. After his long Christmas MASS, you wake The Pope abruptly from his slumber and tell him, in Latin, "Credo Elvem etiam vivere! Die dulci freure! - I believe Elvis lives! Have a nice day!"

7. You climb the Empire State Building (with Naomi Watts in tow.) At the top, you scream, "Look, I'm on top of the WORLD!!!" and bungee jump off, only to realize (too late) the cord is 5 feet too long. Naomi spends several hours waiting for a helicopter ride, then flags a cab to Peter Jackson's next film set of weirdness and Oscar 'potential.' Note: That's one more woman you won't be getting laid by....

8. You'll make a blood pact, hammered, with Bill O'Reilly to reduce the number of KFC franchises in NYC while swapping war stories of conquest, drunkenness and lecherous behavior at The Doll House, an upscale strip club in Atlanta. O'Reilly looks at new intern(s) possibilities and ferrets out a few "video resumes" from the candidates for perusal later. Later, Bill gets picked up for soliciting sex from a tranny… You testify against the prick.

9. You attempt to rob a 7-11 at the exact moment Gary Busey and Winona Ryder decided to do the same. You bond, and become the famed trio of Pistolero Bandits: Gary Ryder Harder Trio. You rob 7-11s, Speedways and Sonics from coast to coast and never get caught.

10. You wake up Christmas Day and find yourself as a CARTOON working as Beavis on 'Beavis and Butthead.' You get to rehearse, "The angle of dangle is inversely proportional to the heat of the meat," while sitting in your STAR chair at Universal Studios. Everyone wants to draw you…Then you get transfered over to the Family Guy...and watch as they erase Beavis and Butthead.

11. While flying the U-2 spy plane (learner's permit), you run into Wonder Woman and set down in Aruba. Things ensue…you get married and have 50 super strong, but super dumb kids, and Wonder Woman needs full body lypo shortly after her 350th birthday. (Fountain of Youth discovered…but skin never quite stops drooping…)

12. And finally, each Holiday, you find one profound reason to give joy and happiness and peace unto men: You like the upside of monetary gain, personal attainment of materialistic goals and overall acceptance into the milieu of your peers and inferiors. …And it sure beats the Hell out of being a Fucking Scrooge!!!

And the beat goes on to 2008....