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Thursday, May 29, 2008

2008 Election: Everybody (or maybe just 3) want to rule the world

Unless you've been hiding out under a metamorphic or igneous, you've probably noticed that 3 people are in the final hunt for the most powerful position in these American lands. If you have been hiding out, say for 60 years, go back to your cave with your sanity, because really, I mean really, you don't want to embrace any culture developed since that time. (Not to say those were the good ol' days...but you are not gonna like it...here...and now. Rock & Roll isn't exactly a smooth cultural transition. Nor is TV/VCR/IPod/Gotta blow up my cell phone hypervisual display gonna appeal to you, the lost person, from Wake Island or Bikini atoll.)
For those non-rock people, this election cycle has seen plenty of fire on the Democrats side.
Hillary found her voice once she got peeled in Iowa. (But lost it down in South Carolina. She doesn't speak southern...ya dig.)
Barack's voice was clear and resonating to young people and disenchanted people, to go along with whatever social demographic Hillary didn't poll well with.
McCain fought as only a Navy man could through the Scopes trial that is the Republican nomination process. Winning out over a band of misfit toys for this party, he now is gone a courtin' anyone with money, attachment to ideological similarities to the Republican base and even his current commander-in-chief. So principled, until he's just about 15,000,000 or so heartbeats away from the office.
Meanwhile, the Democrats can't get 'er done. Hillary realizes that February 5, her personal groundhog day, was not to be a royal crowning of her candidacy, but the beginning of a clock- cleaning adventure. (She clean out her clock, releasing Mark Penn from his campaign strategy duties.)
Don't... stop...thinkin' about...Barack likely played through Hill's head all night long... all night long. All Night. Getting smart, she ditched her ed-u-makation, got down to bid-ness, and tossed back a few down at the the Pigly Wigly. (see below video taken in Crown Point, Indiana, a stones throw from my porch...)

Barack's candidacy took a turn for the worse with Jeremiah Wright preachin' and a proselytizing about everything from 9/11 to AIDS coming via government experiments in Africa. Oh boy. Can't you give a brotha a break, rev? Am I running for President, or, are you?
After denouncing and repudiating his pastor's comments, some of them made back when I was still optimistic about a normal life, Barack could only add to his elite black man baggage, that grew up without a dad, by saying people were bitter and used faith and guns to get through it.

Stereotypes do not become you Barack. Now you lost most of those people between Hillbillyville East and Pottersville West, those white (working class) voters Hillary panders to, while you try to educate them, and enumerate the ways the Republicans screwed them over since 2001 (and years prior.) But they just go back to those loud guns, shooting pool (which you should have done first, not bowling, fire that political surrogate) and drinking on Saturday, praying on Sunday life they always have led. YEEEE!!!! HAWWW!!!!!

Now Hillary's strategy has changed. (Not much.)

Screw the math. Forget the results of 48 elections or so...just hang on to Michigan and Florida and that political clout your hubby still has in the party. He's not electable you know, something might happen, in June, or whenever.... Ferraro likes me, obsesses over me, sees what I see...yah, that's the Democratic ticket. So what if I lose an entire Demographic (unless I ask Barack to be my VP), I can beat that tired septuagenarian McCain. (He still thinks he's in a cage in Viet-fuckin'-nam.)

McCain wakes up periodically to espouse whatever keeps Kudlow & Co. happy (and the neocons too.)

Attention Barack: close the deal, Mr. President. It's that fuckin' simple. Put that old warhorse in her (or his) place. Stop trying to sell me on your CV or foreign policy bona fides. Take them to the presidential woodshed. Hell, you got a current President sending love letters from Israel, guising them in that neocon babble that Scott McClellan barely understood. (Not so smart, but he can get a book deal. Fairness be not thy name.) You got 3 SOBs trying to take you down, hello, that means you really are pissing up the wrong political tree - but you got a bunch of slacker, 20 somethings, educated no less, that admire you. You got almost an entire race supporting you. You got white dudes like me actually fucking caring...You got Obama girl...too.

It's ashame Everybody Wants to Rule The World...
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