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Thursday, May 14, 2009

What I think of Love: Question and Answer section

DR. K.C. posted about Love using a Biblical quote from – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

  1. “Love is patient, love is kind.”

  2. “It does not envy. It does not boast.”

  3. “It is not proud. It is not rude.”

  4. “It is not self-seeking.”

  5. “It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”

  6. “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.”

She adds her comments on each, then asks, "Love is there for you…it WILL find you when you least expect it. Believe…How do you define love?"

So here goes:

Love defined for me is in the enjoyments I have: music (currently, http://www.theairbornetoxicevent.com/videos), movies (Star Trek relaunch), books (baseball & biographies & history) and writing (when I don't get distracted.)

The interpersonal relationships are fraught with potholes, hairpin turns, drunk drivers while I've moved my cargo of feelings along an interstate that has too many greasy spoons packed with dirty customers, shrill waitresses and sloppy, ex-felon cooks. While it is easy to be ever the optimist - reading positive thinking books - the stark reality hits like a 110 degree sauna in 'Zona without any H-2-O to quench that thrist for the kind of relationship you described, biblically.

I've never experienced any of that - from anyone - in my life. Family members have been selfish since I was born. (I feel I was meant to be halved by my family.)

Since they did not teach non-toxic skills, I've had trouble. And because of that, I am my own best friend. (And that does sometimes get lonely.)

In the few meaningful relationships I've had, though I can take 100% the blame for whatever happened or fell apart, the other side had their choices too. And made them. (And apologizing never solved or salved it either.)

They likely haven't looked back much - I am forgettable enough, most days. When I do, hindsight has only pointed to my flaws and somehow forgiven theirs. (Which sucks, really.) But they did have flaws; just theirs don't matter, and mine did.

And while it is not our American society's fault, it has become more negative for those that are not interconnected well, or at all. The internet has helped (and hurt) certainly when it comes to finding a friend/acquaintance.

But that's the problem: the deeper connections we search for do not exist. Twittering won't solve this, except in some 1 in 100,000 dice throw.

People are too afraid all around. They stick to what they know. Getting to know anyone is a chore most avoid. (Oh, and for many, outward appearances, aka money & power, seem to be the attractor.) Once again, not a strong suit. Gotta play off-trump cards.

I am outgoing and have no problem talking to anyone about anything. But the presentation likely needs some zip and the package needs a better bow and wrapping. But then what? (I've posted my sit. before - no need to revisit.)

Point is: often, the people in need of such advice and uplift are not very likely to get such benefits. Maybe it's karma or poor timing, or something else more concrete, but firm is the wall standing in front of them.

I often think I'd like to talk to that loud ceiling guy (the man upstairs) and say, "why the f--k did you make this world so blessed screwed up? Why can't we all have enough of whatever - and quit fighting over land, people "we love", and You, for instance? What did I ever do to you? [Avoiding that whole killed your son topic.]"

In love, I think we've got no real choices. Some fall into it like being at a summer pool party where every bikini and swim trunk is packed with a great bod and everyone is smiling bigger than a beauty queen doing her spinderella walk.

If I find a woman EVER and we both LOVE each other - that would be like Noah sinking his ARC. A-Rod being a baseball 'saint.' The Donald being humble. Or Obama being able to balance the budget in 4 years, get us out of two (three) wars, and get us back to full employment. Or me getting on The NEW YORK TIMES bestseller list.

Shit like that doesn't happen.

Love (for me) is mirage in the Mohave and Miracles are still in the Bible.
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